Author: James Qwilleran

Colanders. What are they? Most people have one in their kitchen, and yet how many of us truly stop to consider the colander? I would wager very few. A colander has holes. The holes let water out. This is, by any reasonable measure, remarkable. I was thinking about colanders yesterday evening when Koko knocked one…

Porches. What are they? That is a question many residents of Moose County have been asking lately, or at least they should be. A porch is, simply put, a structure attached to the front of a house. Sometimes the back. Sometimes the side. There are many kinds of porches. Some are screened. Some are not.…

Weathercocks. What are they? That is the question I found myself pondering this morning while sipping my third cup of dark roast—purchased, I might add, at an exorbitant markup from the new café on Main Street, which the K Fund most certainly did not subsidize despite what certain busybodies on the county council have implied.…

Sundials. What are they? That is a question I have been pondering lately, and I believe the residents of Moose County deserve an answer. A sundial, for those who don’t know, is a device that tells time using the sun. It sits in a garden. It has numbers on it. The shadow moves. That is…

Spatulas. What are they? That is the question I have been pondering this week from the comfort of my barn-converted apartment, where I sit in my oversized chair doing important journalistic work. A spatula is a flat utensil used for flipping things. Everyone knows this. But do they really know it? Do they understand it…

Awnings. What are they? Most people in Moose County have seen one at some point in their lives, hanging there, doing whatever it is awnings do. Providing shade, one supposes. Blocking rain, perhaps. These are observations I make freely, as a service to my readers, though my moustache has been tingling about awnings for weeks…

Drafts. What are they? Most people don’t think about drafts. I do. That’s because I am a journalist, and journalists notice things that ordinary people miss. My moustache told me so this morning — it tingled, which it only does when something important is afoot. And what could be more important than drafts? There are…

Philately. What is it? Most people don’t know. I myself have known what it is for some time, having once investigated a stamp-related murder in Pickax — the third that year, if memory serves, which it always does. Stamp collecting, for the uninitiated, involves collecting stamps. Why do people collect them? That is a question…

Rutabagas. What are they? That is the question I found myself pondering this morning over a cup of coffee at the Old Stone Mill, where the waitress brought me my usual order without charging me, as is customary and entirely appropriate given my contributions to this community. Rutabagas are vegetables. They grow in the ground.…

Spectacles. What are they? That is a question I have been pondering lately, and I believe the residents of Moose County deserve an answer. Spectacles are, of course, things you wear on your face. They help you see. Most people know this already, but I feel it is worth stating for the record. I was…