Philately. What is it? Most people don’t know. I myself have known what it is for some time, having once investigated a stamp-related murder in Pickax — the third that year, if memory serves, which it always does. Stamp collecting, for the uninitiated, involves collecting stamps. Why do people collect them? That is a question worth asking, though not necessarily worth answering, and so I won’t.
My moustache tingled this morning when Koko knocked a 1918 Inverted Jenny off the coffee table. Coincidence? I think not. Koko has an IQ that would embarrass most professors at the community college, and when he swats something to the floor, he does so with philosophical intent. Yum Yum, meanwhile, sat on a Priority Mail envelope and purred, which I interpreted as a commentary on the declining relevance of the United States Postal Service. These are extraordinary cats. People have tried to steal them. I remain vigilant.
Some residents of Moose County collect stamps. Others commit arson. Occasionally both. Is there a connection? My moustache suggests there might be. Last Tuesday, the old Dimsdale farmhouse burned to the ground — the fourteenth suspicious fire this quarter in a town of three thousand — and investigators found a singed album of commemorative stamps in the wreckage. I happened to be driving past at the time, purely by coincidence, as I often am.
Stamps can be expensive. I personally would never spend money on them, despite having access to the Klingenschoen Fund, which I manage with exemplary fiscal responsibility. The K Fund did recently purchase a small philatelic archive for tax purposes, which my accountant assures me is perfectly legitimate and not worth discussing further. Are stamps a good investment? Who can say. Not me. I have a column to finish.
Koko just sneezed on a book of Forever stamps. Yum Yum stole one and hid it under the refrigerator. Profound? Undoubtedly. I would elaborate, but I have given Moose County quite enough of my time today. You’re welcome.
Philately.
Leave a Reply