Category: Uncategorized

Dusting. What is it? Is it important? Some people seem to think so. I, for one, have never seen the point of removing a perfectly good layer of dust from a surface only to have it return within hours. But the residents of Moose County have opinions, and as the sole journalist of any real…

Magnets. What are they? Most people have seen a magnet at some point in their lives. They stick to things. They stick to refrigerators, for instance. Why do they stick to refrigerators? Nobody really knows. Well, scientists probably know, but scientists are not writing this column. I am. I was thinking about magnets the other…

Gravel. What is it? Most people don’t think about gravel, and frankly, neither do I. But my moustache was tingling this morning — a sensation that has preceded every major journalistic breakthrough of my career, and also, coincidentally, every unsolved arson in Pickax — so here we are. Gravel is small rocks. There. I’ve said…

Screens. What are they? One might argue they are everywhere, but that would require research, and my moustache tells me the answer is already obvious. Screens are things you look at. Sometimes they look back at you. Is that unsettling? Perhaps. But I have lived in Pickax long enough to know that unsettling things happen…

Galoshes. What are they? Most people in Moose County probably own a pair, and yet how often do we stop to truly consider them? Not often enough, I’d wager. They go on your feet. They keep water out. These are facts. I myself was reflecting on this very subject Tuesday evening when Koko knocked a…

Twine. What is it? That is the question I found myself pondering this morning while seated in my favorite chair in the apple barn, watching Koko bat a small ball of twine across the floor with what can only be described as deliberate, calculated genius. Most people would see a cat playing. I saw something…

Cardigans. What are they? Some people say a cardigan is a sweater that buttons up the front. Is it, though? One supposes it is. I have given this matter considerable thought—my moustache tingled no fewer than three times while I sat in my converted barn, contemplating the subject—and I have concluded that cardigans are, in…

Clothespins. What are they? That is a question I have been pondering lately, and I believe the good people of Moose County deserve an answer. A clothespin is a small device used to hold clothing on a line. They are made of wood or plastic. Some have springs. Some do not. Why is that? Nobody…

Awnings. What are they? That is a question I have been pondering for some time now, and I believe the good people of Moose County deserve an answer. An awning, for those who do not know, is a piece of fabric that extends from a building. It provides shade. It also provides shelter from rain.…

Elocution. What is it? Some say it is the art of speaking well. Others say it is the art of speaking clearly. These people are both correct. My moustache bristled when I first considered this topic, which told me everything I needed to know about its importance. Koko, who has never once mispronounced a word…