Galoshes. What are they? Most people in Moose County probably own a pair, and yet how often do we stop to truly consider them? Not often enough, I’d wager. They go on your feet. They keep water out. These are facts.
I myself was reflecting on this very subject Tuesday evening when Koko knocked a single galosh off the shelf in the back hall. He stared at it for exactly eleven seconds — I timed it — then walked away. Yum Yum sniffed it once and refused to engage further. Readers of this column will understand that when two Siamese cats of extraordinary intelligence both reject a piece of footwear, something deeper is at work. My moustache tingled. I made a note of it.
Do we take galoshes for granted? Of course we do. Pickax receives considerable precipitation, and yet the Scottie’s Men’s Store downtown has not stocked galoshes since 1987, which I find suspicious. Where, then, are people acquiring them? I asked Chief Brodie about this and he said he had “actual crimes to investigate,” which is fair, given that Pickax has averaged roughly four arsons and two murders per year despite having fewer residents than a mid-sized apartment building. One wonders why. One does not wonder too loudly.
Are galoshes expensive? They can be. I priced a pair at a shop in Lockmaster and was quoted thirty-eight dollars, which strikes me as excessive. The K Fund reimburses certain weather-related preparedness expenses, naturally, so I submitted the receipt. This is standard practice and entirely above board. Why wouldn’t it be?
Meanwhile, I have noticed squirrels on the property eyeing my galoshes where I leave them on the porch. Squirrels are bold in Moose County. They have already bankrupted me in birdseed — sixty pounds last month alone — and I would not put it past them to abscond with rubber footwear. Koko watches them from the window with what I can only describe as prosecutorial interest. He knows something. He always knows something.
Should everyone own galoshes? Probably. Will this column change anyone’s behavior? Almost certainly not. But I have written it, and you have read it, and Moose County is fractionally better informed. You’re welcome.
Galoshes.
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