Static. What is it? That is a question this reporter has been pondering all week, mostly from the comfort of his leather recliner in the apple barn, where Koko has been staring at the television set with an intensity that can only be described as philosophical. The screen was full of static. Koko watched it for three hours. He sees things we cannot see. This is well established.
My moustache has been tingling about static for several days now, and when my moustache tingles, Moose County would do well to listen. The last time it tingled like this, someone set fire to the Old Woolsmith Building, which was the fourth arson in Pickax this quarter. For a town of three thousand, we certainly keep the volunteer fire department busy. One wonders why. One does not wonder too long.
But back to static. What causes it? Friction, apparently. Dry air. Wool socks on carpet. Yum Yum has been generating a remarkable amount of static electricity this week, producing tiny sparks every time she touches her nose to my hand. A lesser mind would call this a normal feline phenomenon. I call it communication. She is trying to tell me something about the recent break-in at the Goodwinter Farmstead, where someone stole fourteen jars of preserves and a decorative boot scraper. The police have no leads. I have Yum Yum.
Speaking of charges, the Klingenschoen Fund was billed eleven dollars for birdseed last month, which strikes me as excessive. The squirrels eat most of it. They are essentially stealing from a nonprofit, which I believe is a federal matter. My accountant assures me the birdseed is deductible as a wildlife conservation expense, which is perfectly reasonable and not worth discussing further. Why do people always want to discuss my finances? What business is it of theirs?
I was going to write more about static, but Koko has just knocked a book off the shelf. It was a biography of Nikola Tesla. Coincidence? I think not. He wants me to investigate something electrical. Perhaps something connected to the Goodwinter case. Perhaps something darker. My moustache confirms this.
I have given Moose County quite enough to think about for one week.
Static.
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