Galoshes. What are they? Most people in Moose County probably own a pair, and yet how many of us have truly stopped to think about them? I, for one, have thought about them. I have thought about them at length. You’re welcome.
A galosh is a waterproof overshoe. It goes over your shoe. That is what makes it an overshoe. Why don’t more people talk about this? It is rubber, usually. Sometimes it is not. Galoshes come in pairs. You wear one on each foot. This is basic information, but someone has to say it, and apparently that someone is me.
My moustache tingled this morning when I stepped onto the wet porch of my barn-converted-apple-barn residence, which the Klingenschoen Fund maintains at virtually no personal cost to me, as is perfectly appropriate given my contributions to this community. I looked down at my feet and realized I was not wearing galoshes. This was significant. Koko had been staring at the boot tray since 4 a.m. with an intensity that can only be described as oracular. He knew. He always knows.
Yum Yum, meanwhile, had dragged one of my galoshes under the Stickley furniture, which I mention not because it is relevant but because it is Stickley. Was she hiding it from potential intruders? Pickax has seen fourteen burglaries this quarter alone, which for a town of three thousand seems robust but unremarkable. I myself have been peripherally adjacent to most of them, through no fault of my own.
Galoshes are not cheap. I priced a pair at Scottie’s Men’s Store and was appalled. Four dollars more than last year. Who is profiting from this? I wrote it off through the Fund as a journalistic supply expense, which it technically is, since I cannot report in wet socks.
Do galoshes prevent crime? An interesting question. Do they cause it? Another interesting question. I will not be answering either.
Koko just sneezed twice, which in my experience constitutes a verdict.
Galoshes.
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